Holy Matrimony!

Dearly beloved...I was fortunate enough to return to the US last week for my first official family wedding. My cousin Ashley has been like an older sister to me since the day I was born; her three extra years giving her plenty of time to be one of my most prominent role-models. It was thus much more emotional than I expected to see her wed off and all grown up right before my very bridesmaid's eyes. She looked absolutely gorgeous, her (now) husband is an awesome addition to our family and makes her happier than anyone else could, and the ceremony contained a good balance between laughs and tears, but now that the whirlwind of family and avoiding reverse culture shock and 5 plane trips is over, I am left stupefied by the idea of...marriage!?!

In the US it is normal for a middle-class woman to get married at 26 years of age, like Ashley. We usually leave home at 18 to live at college, figure out how to live on our own and get accustomed to independence, graduate and start working or continue our studies to get a better job, meet the person of our dreams, and have a few years to date and possibly cohabit before sealing the deal. At least that is what I have grown up thinking.

Since coming to Colombia I am surprised at how few of my friends of a similar age are considering marriage before the age of 30.* Even those who have been in relationships for eight years and have a good job. This has struck me as surprising since in the past month I have been alerted every week that a new friend back home is engaged, and makes me wonder why things here are so different. Considering people generally live at home with the parents until they get married, I thought that maybe this put some sort of imposition on one's personal independence. When you can never bring someone home and always have to include family members in one's romantic relationship things obviously progress in a different manner than if you have lots of space--physical and metaphorical. But when I hopped in a cab the other day on my way to school as it started to rain outside, I was intrigued to hear two women discussing why youngsters these days get married so late in life. They were saying it was because there was a cultural aversion to commitments, that the couple want to be established (with a car, finca, apartment, job, money, etc. etc.) before they settle down, like the comfort of being taken care of at home, and in general are basking in the different opportunities and freedoms their generation is allowed.

Which makes me wonder...is marrying young(er) another first-world privilege? Because it is easier for us to make our own way in the world, does that allow us the ability to choose our mates easier too? Or is this jut a reflection of the upper class status mentality? Obviously very few people can afford all of the amenities mentioned above, but even people of different socioeconomic standings get married later in life, if at all. The generations of my friends' parents and grandparents wed at age 25 or 25 and early 20's respectively, so what could have caused such a huge cultural change in such a short amount of time?

Or, to look at marriage in the reverse cultural standpoint, why do people in the US deem it so acceptable to get married before the age of 30? Since divorce has become such a hazardous social epidemic maybe we should be afraid of commitment until we no longer crave single 'freedom' and 'know what we want' (if that is not overly cliche). If young North Americans thought it strange to tie the knot before completing three decades perhaps they would be more likely to keep their families together for the long haul.

For whatever reason, all my girlfriends at the university--who are all at least 26--started screeching when they heard that they were older than my now-wed cousin...

*Mind you, more women have children before the age of 30 than are married. Teen pregnancies and starting a family out of wedlock is a huge issue in Colombia.